Shoe Bombs

In December 2001, Richard Reid tried to ignite explosives packed into his shoes on a flight from Paris to Miami. To foil future shoe bombers, the TSA instituted security procedures requiring all passengers to remove their shoes and put them through an X-ray machine before boarding a flight. Because I travel so often, this has dramatically affected my shopping habits. We offer tens of thousands of styles of shoes on Zappos.com. Yet, I find myself, like millions of other frequent travelers, purchasing only those shoes that I can slip off and on quickly. I’ve become amazingly skilled at using only my feet to perform this feat, and I’m proud to say I can do it in 2 seconds flat. Although it’s a little bit self-serving, I recently proposed to the International Olympic Committee to make unassisted shoe removal a new event at the Winter Games. (The Summer Games obviously would not make sense, because so many people would just wear sandals. Also, with higher temperatures, the sweat from people’s feet would be pretty gross.) It was great to see the TSA react so quickly and institute such a surefire way of stopping future shoe bombing attempts. My biggest fear now is wondering what will happen when an enterprising terrorist decides to embed explosives in his underwear. I suppose that underwear removal could also become a new Olympic event.